just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
