a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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