i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
