how can u be prego again
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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