I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
