Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
