im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
