drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
