Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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