We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Of course I have a pirate flag
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
