I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
My penis needs a shock collar
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
