Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Randomize
