This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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