i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
