you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
