What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
