I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
