when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
