I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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