i think my mom watched the whole time
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize