my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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