I smell stomach acid.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
