when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
