Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
