I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
