my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
