There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
