Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
