4 words: hood of his car
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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