It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
