508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
