this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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