dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
there's paper in my vomit.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
