I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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