Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
