He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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