i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
