well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
