his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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