I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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