butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Just cropdusted the office
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Randomize
