I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
