Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
