i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
