She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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