I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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