I only kidnapped one of them. chill
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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