Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
