operation harelip BJ is a go
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
You've changed since you got that strap on
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
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