Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
