You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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