he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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