yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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