She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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