I wannas sexs uuuuu
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
