If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
My vagina just clenched in fear
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