Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
