i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
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