Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
