One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Randomize
