I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
