I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
