Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Quick, to the slutcave!
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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