it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
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