Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
