Do vagina's smell?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Are my feet made of real feet?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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