And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I look better un-naked...
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
