i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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