I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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